“When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them The First Time.” – Maya Angelou
I believe people can change. However, I also believe that when it comes to certain points in one’s life, change doesn’t happen overnight. Change only happens when one accepts that it’s needed. It’s not our responsibility to try and change another person’s beliefs or traits. It’s only our responsibility to change ourselves. I’ve had many experiences in my past where I didn’t truly listen to a person. Without realizing it, I would ignore them. I either didn’t want to hear what they had to say or I didn’t want to believe they were the person they were presenting themselves to be. I wanted them to be who I thought they should be. This is dangerous territory because it can lead to naivete, denial and an inability to cope with differences. Some people will betray you and as much as you don’t want to believe it, it’s important to accept it and have a clear concept of reality. It’s the only way to really take charge of a situation and gain the clarity in appropriate decision making. In contrast, I’ve also learned some people will treat you the way you should be treated, yet you may still inwardly question their motives. It’s almost as if you can’t believe a person could be capable of actually respecting you and treating you well without a lurking hidden agenda. This is also dangerous territory because without giving someone a chance due to insecurities or past experiences, you’ll most likely end up doing the exact opposite of what you’d like to do. You may end up projecting those doubts onto that person and actually turn them into who you suspect.
At the end of the day, it’s important to be yourself and let others be themselves. We all come from different backgrounds and different experiences. It’s important to be open to others and be honest with yourself. It’s important to not blame others for disappointing us when they keep doing the same things over and over again. We need to set boundaries, and like Maya says, we need to believe people when they show us who they are the first time. If a person really wants to change something about themselves, they will. Until then, don’t expect something you haven’t been shown. Always be loving, caring and supporting to yourself and others. Always keep your eyes open and get in touch with your heart. The rest will come naturally. I promise. Glow & shine bright! xo