“There Are Few Things More Liberating In This Life Than Having Your Worst Fear Realized.” – Conan O’Brien
When I started my so-called journey to self discovery a few months back, I began going to therapy sessions and did my own self healing work through various outlets. I read books, completed therapeutic exercises and watched lots of motivational speeches online. Many people would be ashamed to admit this kind of thing for fear of others judging them at a moment when they’re not at their strongest, but I’m not one of those people. Without doing all of those things, I would’ve never gotten as far as I did. Honestly, I probably would’ve given up and I didn’t want to give up. Some of the types of speeches I sought out and found to be extremely helpful were commencement speeches. I find it funny how commencement speeches seem to help more when you’re 5-10 years out of college than on the actual day of your commencement. But hey, that’s the way life is, isn’t it? The more experience, the more knowledge.
One of the commencement speeches I found to be surprisingly helpful was given to Dartmouth College in 2011 by talk show host and comedian Conan O’ Brien. While Conan’s words were of course highly amusing, they were also highly insightful. Like most commencement speakers, he spoke about his own struggles and included one of the most profound quotes I’ve heard in the last six months: “There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized.” You can’t get any more truthful than that.
When something we fear actually happens in our lives, we have one of two choices. We can give up, or we can learn from it and transform ourselves into something we never thought possible. I’ve had many of my worst fears realized over the years. I had no control over some situations and others seemed to be nothing more than the result of my own self doubt projected into reality. The self doubt I had let control me most of my life. Each fearful event was terrifying, heartbreaking, shocking and made me feel as if my last breath on Earth was fast approaching due to the painful effort it took to just live. But after all of that emotional chaos, something remarkable happened. I realized that I had nothing to fear since what I feared had already happened and more important, I realized I was still standing. When you refuse to make the choice of giving up after taking that deep and painful breath, you’ll feel like you can do anything. In your mind, there’s nothing to fear anymore. The truth is there never was.
The goal is to be courageous in life, to do things in spite of fear until the time comes when we have no fear. Most of the time, this will only happen after we have our fears realized. It will do something to your soul. It will show you who you are without a head full of negative words such as “can’t” and “wish I could.” It will replace those thoughts with positive words like “can” and “I will.” Feeling as though you can do anything is exactly what will make you do anything. Fear doesn’t exist. Our minds and our experiences make it exist. But once you realize that fear is not real, you’ll come to terms with your higher self and impossible things will happen.
Realizing my worst fear helped me to stand up for myself when everyone was against me. It helped me to move across the country away from everyone I knew. It helped me to start up my own company and be successful at it. It helped me to go through with various projects I never dreamed I could lead. Realizing my worst fear led me to writing my book. If you go through your worst fear, look for the opportunity. Reach inside yourself and find the part of you that is filled with strength, courage and unconditional love. Find the part of you that is the light in the darkness. Shine that light towards the future, open your eyes and take another deep breath. The pain you once felt will be replaced with the fresh air of liberation. That will be the moment when fear loses its grip on control and you take that control back. That’s the moment worth living for. Glow & shine bright! xo
Check out Conan O’Brien’s 2011 Dartmouth College commencement speech here: