WOW #31

“Fear is a good thing. Running away from it is not.” – Kate Winslet

Fear. The number one emotion that runs most of our lives. No matter how many times we try to avoid it, it just seems to keep coming back. Kate Winslet is one of my favorite actresses and she definitely knows what it’s like to feel fear. As she has stated many times, some of the toughest roles she’s played in films began with the feeling of fear. She would read a script and think to herself, “Wow, I’m scared to take this role. I don’t know if I can do this.” That thought, however, is exactly what led her to do it and as is turns out, the roles she feared the most turned out to be her best and even earned her many high profile awards, including the ultimate Academy Award.

Kate said this entry’s quote when she was fearfully climbing a mountain on the adventure reality television show, Running Wild with Bear Grylls. These words of wisdom talk about how it’s a good thing when a person feels fear if it involves going after something he or she really wants. It means that person is facing that fear and when a fear is faced, it’s being challenged. Fear will not go away permanently until we keep challenging it and getting past it. Although it may seem like it goes away when you decide to not take a risk, it’s only temporary. It’s still locked in your core waiting to come out again the second you encounter another risk that you really want to take. If we’re not feeling fearful, we’re not doing something that is worth the risk.

When I talk about fear, I’m not talking about the feeling you feel when you find yourself in danger. That fear stems from the natural fight or flight reaction our body has to protect us from serious harm. The fear I’m talking about is the fear that we learned as children. It’s the fear we learned from society and the situations we had to go through. It’s the fear that brainwashes our minds and tells us we aren’t worth that risk, that we will fail. This is an unnatural fear and whether we know it or not, it rules our lives in many situations.

If you want to know a great way to find out how much you think you’re worth, do something that you really want to do and see how much fear develops in your mind. Although you may not realize it, all of that fear you feel derives from the doubt you have in your mind about yourself. Since most of us have that fear, we never for a second think that we may need to try to change it. We think it’s just a normal reaction to being human, but the more you go after something you want, the less the fear is in control, and when you keep knocking an emotion down, it will eventually start to fade and become weak.

The more we learn to love ourselves and retrain our brains to recognize how special and worthy we are, the easier it will be to push past the fear and give it our all without worrying about failing or being judged. It’s O.K. to fear something, but don’t ever let it make you miss out on who you want to be and what you want to achieve. Don’t ever let fear make you run away from what is truly important to your heart. Don’t let it stop you from pushing the limits and giving it your all. The more you run away from fear, the stronger it gets. It won’t remain strong if you decide to face it head on and rebel against it, and the weaker it gets, the stronger your authentic self and mind will be.

This is not an easy thing to do and it may take a long time before you feel the significant difference within, but you will and when you do, you will understand exactly what I mean and it will be like a big breath of fresh air after living in a thick cloudy mind for many years. Since it’s all we’ve ever known, why would we even think there’s anything else? The older I get and the more I learn about myself, the more I become aware of how to live a better life by being a better person not in the opinion of others, but in the opinion of myself. There’s no reason to be afraid of who we really are and what we really want to do.

If you don’t like who yourself and you’re not enjoying your life, chances are you’re not being who you really are and you’re pretending to be someone else, even if you don’t realize it. A lot of us act according to what we think the person we’re around wants us to be like. When you’re around your mother, you probably act differently than when you’re around your teacher or your friend. Although acting a certain way may be necessary in a job or other specific formal situation, can we honestly say we’re being true to ourselves at other times? Are we really living the way we want to live without fear? If the answer is no, it’s never too late to work towards it.

I truly believe we’re alive to love ourselves, to love others, and to enjoy life. When we can live in spite of fear and challenge it every time, we’re really living and making a difference in our inner world, which will also make a difference in the outer world. We may live in a world that separates us as individuals and teaches us to care about what others think, but we don’t have to suffer from it. We can’t control the world, but we can control ourselves and that will change your perception of the world and perception is everything.

So, next time you feel fear, remember that it’s not real and has no substance. It only has power if you let it have power. Take back your power and use it to fight the fear and act in spite of it. Run towards it and not away from it and I guarantee you will break down those walls, and  in hindsight, you’ll be so glad you did. Live your life with courage and know that the only way to get rid of the monsters under your bed is to face them and when you look up close, you’ll realize they aren’t even really there.

Perhaps you can think of Kate’s quote whenever you find yourself fearfully climbing your own mountains of life and hopefully it will inspire you to keep going without hesitation. Glow & shine bright! xo